Click to enlarge and read. It's nice =)






当我需要分享我的快乐时，
你在哪里.

当我撑不过，需要一股推动力时，
你又在哪里.

当我不成人形，只渴望有另一个依靠，
你到底在哪里...




ZZ dear,

Paiseh arh, I must use my blog to tell you some stuffs. I dont have much time.. so yeah, gonna use this lazy way out. Its half rantings, so.. please bear with my pms..

Well, i never see you for 2 weeks, and i really miss you alot. Ive been looking forward to yesterday's meetup practically everyday in camp. Wanna spend my precious time with you. But its kinda... disappointing to me..

I really thought that you will be with me alone all the while in the afternoon till you go for your party. But yeah, ben was there as well. I'm fine with meeting him too, but not always... Recently whenever I go out with you, there's always him around.

I know you guys are good friends, but I'm not that close to him. Its really awkward sometimes for me. Its as if like.. I'm the one tagging along.

I dont talk much, i admit that... and with him around, things liven up alot. At least theres someone to talk to you. But i feel like a 'calefare'. Especially when you guys plan outings and all i can say is 'oh okay lor, i free i go'.

friends is important to you, i can understand that.. but really, i feel kinda left out pretty often.

when you said you meeting him, i really feel like just telling you to enjoy your day with him and i rest at home. same goes for the club... i can bear with the uneasy feeling, because i dont have much time to spend with you.. and being with you is more important than anything else.

when you said that you are having a hard time coming up with excuses to your mum about staying overnight at my house, i understand that, but at the same time.. my heart broke..

i know its not right to lie to others, but i just cant think of any more places to go to spend quality time with you over the night, and i really need those.. i was so happy last night till the very last min i saw you sitting in the leaving bus. its really such a rare chance.. but i promised myself, it shall be the first and last time. i dont want you to keep telling lies over and over again..

this morning, the feeling of me hugging you to wake you up.. its not something i will ever forget..

you once told me, watching porn is like betraying ea other psychologically, and you were shocked to see me using grindr. ive stopped all those. but am i getting the fair treatment?

i msged you earlier that i teared for no reason. i honestly.. dunno why i cried. i just have this aching feeling in my heart. i dunno why... even now when im typing all these, ive started tearing again. mood swing eh?

perhaps im just lost again.. trying to find directions once more. or it is just.. i miss you too much..

i look forward to each and every sms you send me, because its really the only motivation to drive me through everyday.. when night falls, calling you during my free time is what i anticipate the most.

but... im really disappointed at times.. and my heart aches and shatters very frequently nowadays..




Sitting in the office just makes me wonder..

What should I be in the future?

Should I just continue what I'm doing right now, pursue my degree in chemical engineering, and be an engineer in that field in the future? A stable, yet normal life. Risking my health, for a high return.

Or should I start a business, and be my own boss?

Perhaps pursue my dream in music and interior design?

How how how? @.@




Suan le..

Just suan le..




第一年的我哭得死去活来，一直没办法接受事实。
第二年的我不敢面对一切，但思念还是一种病。
第三年的我心里感觉内疚，口里说出的只有对不起。

第四年的我笑了，终于说出谢谢你们。

If you guys are still around, how would you all of you look like?
Somehow it's interesting to know hahah.

Would be lying to myself if I don't feel a single bit of sadness at all.
I'm still a crybaby afterall. =/

My newly wed friend ask us for opinions on where to go for honeymoon, and I told them to go to my overseas house to save on accommodation. January is one of the best timing to go. Nice weather, nice scenery and many events to go.

Maybe I can tell give them my old plan.. Let them fulfill for me. Its such a waste, afterall.

I will go back one day, I will.






Yesterday was too tiring, thus no post at all. Shall do a double posting today!

Day 5

Exhausted my whole day on my friend's wedding. Another couple tied their knots together in the presence of their family and friends.

Accompanied the groom and his brothers to siege down the bride's house and her sisters. Pretty interesting, especially seeing how the brothers got 'tekan-ed' by the sisters. Didn't participated, since I'm there as the ringbearer hahah.

Drove off to the wedding site immediately after the groom manage to enter the house. Needa change to my pianist suit and prepare for the wedding ceremony.

Nothing much to describe after that. The wedding was a successful one, kudos to everyone!

To Mr. and Mrs. See:
Hope that both of you have a blissful marriage. The songs that I've played, the speeches everyone gave, and the tears of joy people shed, may all of these bring our sweetest wishes across to you. Be there for each other during times of need, or joys to share. Once again, Weiyang wishes both of you greatest joy and happiness in the times you spend together :)



Day 6

Moving house day!

Maybe not..

The lorry that was suppose to help me shift my furniture cocked up. Irritated to the max. The next official moving date is on the 6th. Sigh..

Ended up resting for today. Met up with an aj friend of mine. No, not steve.

Had a long chat with him, asked him how he manages his r/s and such.

For the whole day, I keep thinking of you. About how I should improve myself to give you a better bf.

My heart pumps so quickly whenever I'm thinking of you, for two reasons.
1) The happiness I felt when I'm with you
2) The feeling of knowing that I'm might lose you once and for all.

I'm panicking...

Remember this sentence that I told you?

因为我不知道下一辈子还是否能遇见你，所以我今生才会那么努力地把一切都给你

There's a follow up to the sentence..

爱你都变成伤害你，我们得爱快要窒息，不是故意，只是太爱你

My way of loving you might be wrong in your eyes, but its genuine.

I really love you with all my heart, and I will definitely continue doing so.



My friend's wedding ring. May I be a pair with you again?